Become The Narrator In Your Own Life. See How Changing The Way You Tell Your Story Can Improve Your Life.

What’s your life story? We don’t mean where you grew up, went to school, got your first job, etc. We mean what’s your STORY? What narrative have you constructed from the events of your life? And do you know that this is the single most important question you can ask yourself?

According to the field of Narrative Psychology, the stories we tell about ourselves are the key to our well-being. The way we interpret failures and rejection, defines the way we act and live our lives.

That time you were laid off, for example, is it further proof that your career was going nowhere? Or was it the best thing that ever happened, liberating you to start your own business?
So what is your story? Are you telling the right one? And are you telling it to the right people?

Your Life, but told by an unfriendly voice.

Think of the way you perceive the things you’ve experienced so far in your life. Your failures, rejection, losing a friend or two…do you blame and judge yourself, or do you talk to yourself the way you would to a dear friend? Do you tell your story with kindness, self-compassion and treat yourself with the same reverence that you would someone who is beloved to you? You deserve that same reverence, that same appreciation. Yet for so many of us, it tends to be the opposite.

The Narrative Power as studied by the field of Narrative Psychology

The tales we tell hold powerful sway over our memories, behaviors and even identities, according to research from the burgeoning field of narrative psychology.

Our stories can also shape our future, researchers have found. In particular, telling stories of struggle that turn out well may give people the hope they need to live productive lives. And stories that vividly describe turmoil seem to help people grow wiser in the aftermath of major life challenges. The power of narrative, however, isn’t always positive: Telling stories about your spouse that focus on negative traits, for instance, can cause you to forget about the positive traits you used to cherish, finds research by John Holmes, PhD, a psychology professor at Waterloo University.

“For better or worse, stories are a very powerful source of self-persuasion, and they are highly internally consistent,” says Holmes. “Evidence that doesn’t fit the story is going to be left behind.”

How becoming the narrator can improve your life

We all have a voice in our head in some shape or form – says experimental psychologist and neuroscientist – Ethan Kross. “As we develop [in life] further, we come to use our own [inner] words to control ourselves for the rest of our lives.“* It is possible, as you own narrator to have your own happy ending. A multitude of them actually”, adds Laura King, PhD, a psychology professor at the University of Missouri, Columbia. In her research with people who have weathered major life challenges — divorce, raising a child with Down syndrome, death, post traumatic stress — King has found that people who took the positive out of their stories were happier in the long run. “Storytelling isn’t just how we construct our identities, stories are our identities,” adds King.

According to research by Jonathan Adler, PhD, a psychology professor at the Franklin W. Olin College of Engineering in Needham, Mass, patients who put a positive spin on horrible events they had lived, tended to report the largest gains in well-being and confidence.

However, the strongest predictor of improvement was when people saw themselves, rather than the therapist, as the central actors in their stories. Adler found that people began feeling better after they began telling stories in which they took control of their lives and their recoveries. “You tell the story first and then you live your way into it,” Adler says. “There is a certain amount of ‘fake it ’til you make it.’”

Learn how to be you Life’s Narrator

Sometimes life provides us with challenges that we didn’t choose. Challenges disguised as tragedies: financial difficulties, a broken heart, an incurable disease, the loss of a beloved person… Those moments might change our lives forever. But, even though we are not fully in control of the events affect our lives. The only thing we need to do is to tell the stories behind those eventstragedies the way we want them to unfold.

Because what gives events so much power is the way we perceive them in retrospective,how we talke about them and what words we use (internally and externally.

In the end, it is our decision how we want to perceive them. It is our decision how we want to tell the story, no matter what happens to us in life. There are so many ways to tell the same story. And every single way will give the story a different meaning.

Coaching is one valuable tool that can help you gain clarity about your story, goals and perspective, and achieve what you want in your business and personal life! Our programs will help you become confident and decide what meaning you want to give to your stories. And by doing so you truly become the narrator of your life. Click here to learn more!

*Source: *Ethan Kross, 2021, The Voice in Our Head and How to Harness It 

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